I've been back outside running for the last few days, thinking about the past two years of running and it's role in my life.

In short, I believe I've been wrecking my body and spirit by training too much for the marathon. Ever since the fall of 2003, when I ran 3:13 in my second Twin Cities Marathon, I've thought the sub-three was a sure thing. Then I missed a few years of competing, and 5 years later, here I am, with a bad back, knee troubles and a stale attitude. A lot of "what's the point?" self-talk.

When health-care people ask questions about my habits, I'll tell them I run a lot. But that doesn't tell the ugly truth. To most people, 5 days a week at 3-5 miles would be a lot. 7 days a week at 60-plus/a week on chronically sore legs is battering me down. The long runs, speed-workouts and trails are painful. But I need the long runs; I need to run fast sometimes, and trails are fun for most runners. The marathon IS a long, hopefully sort of fast run, after all.

But, I think I'm going to let the marathoning slide after this year. If I run one, it will be more fun and less punishing than the last few years have been. I like half-marathons, and will focus more on them for now.

I may run the full next month, but I shouldn't train this way in future years. For the last two weeks, I've felt like I have some grave disease. Doctors are talking about all the modes of treatment: drugs, massage, PT and surgery. Yet I know with 95%certainty that some extended rest and a lighter training load would be the best remedy for what ails me.

I love running, but I used to feel better and healthier for doing it. Not any longer.

I'll keep running and racing. But my legs are telling me not to run the same way any longer. They've been telling me for two years. I hope I listen this time, but I've been deaf to the messages in the past. So...I might wind up writing the same thing next year.